Rules For Dating?

Thanks to Marie Claire magazine for this article.

What do you think of their rules? Sound pretty good to me!

-Don't act like a needy person. In fact, until you're in a solid relationship, try to hide any neediness almost entirely. (I mean, if you need to take a leak; or to eat a peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich you have in your handbag for fits of low blood sugar; or to have a glass of water ... by all means. But don't act like there's anything you need from the other person.)

-Don't be negative. This means you shouldn't criticize the loud/poorly dressed/gauche people on the other side of the bar from you. Don't complain that your Pinot is not quite Noir-y enough, or that your salad would've been a lot more awesome if they'd only added a splash of Holy Water from Fatima on it. Don't complain about your job. Or your family. Or that one really toxic friend of yours. (I don't care if she always gets wasted and throws up on your shoes, or if she always borrows money in small denominations--like $5 here, $10 there--and never pays you back. Do not mention her! And really, while you're at it, shouldn't you consider breaking up with her?) If you need to vent about any of these things--wait till you're sitting with an old pal, or you're on the couch at your shrink's office. A big part of the reason we're attracted to people is because we think they are going to make our lives happier--and the more negative you are, the less likely it is that a dude will think you'll bring some sunshine to his sad existence. 

-Always keep this idea in the forefront of your mind: You are not trying to find out if the person you are flirting with or dating accepts YOU. You are trying to figure out if YOU accept HIM. Does he have qualities that you value? Does he make you feel good? Does he treat you the way you want to be treated? 

-Remember that most guys like to pursue. So, while you may be the one initiating contact ... let him do the work after you've met. Let him call you for dates, write the follow-up emails, and plan for the future. Of course, you want to make it clear that you enjoy his company--but keep him guessing about just how much you really like him until you feel comfortable with the fact that he's totally into you.

-Have fun and be playful. Think about how awesome it is when someone makes a little joke, says something out of the ordinary, or simply engages in a spontaneous act of goofiness. We all like to smile and (even better) to laugh. When you're flirting, approach strangers with the attitude that if nothing else happens, at least you're going to have fun--and you'll always come out a winner. 

Read more: Rules for Dating - Advice for Daters - Marie Claire
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Great News! We're In The Final!

Well, we've made it! We're through to the finals in the Best Dating Blogs contest, not just in one category, but in three! Best Blog, Best Newcomer and Best Niche!

Please vote for us by clicking on the images below - we're so proud to have got this far, but now we're there, lets try and win it! Look for us in the list as UK Dating for Single Parents.co.uk

Click HERE to vote!

Click HERE to vote!

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Online Dating For Dummies!

A fun look at Online Dating for Dummies!

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Sex is the Secret to Looking Younger, Claims Researcher

Regular sex could now be the key to looking up to seven years younger, a researcher claims.

Dr David Weeks, former head of old age psychology at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, said people need to be aware of the benefits of having a healthy sex life, particularly in their later years.

He said sex has a number of health benefits which can make men and women look between five and seven years younger which includes; it causes the release of endorphins, the ‘feel good’ chemical which acts as a natural painkiller and reduces anxiety aiding sleep; exercise boosts circulation which is good for the heart; and it also causes the human growth hormone to be released which makes the skin look more elastic.

Dr Weeks said: “My message is that lovemaking is good.

“The stereotype of an elderly person is that when they get their pension and bus pass, they stop having sex and that’s not true.

“Sexual satisfaction is a major contributor to quality of life, ranking at least as high as spiritual or religious commitment and other morale factors, so more positive attitudes towards mature sex should be vigorously promoted.

“Sexuality is definitely not the prerogative of younger people and nor should it be.”

The 59-year-old will tell a British Psychological Society conference today about his research, where he asked men and women questions about their sex lives. He found those who looked younger than their age claimed to have sex an average 50 per cent more – in the 40-to-50 age group equating to three times a week rather than twice.

Dr Weeks’ findings of the benefits of a healthy sex life follow previous evidence that suggests regular lovemaking is associated with reducing the risk of early death.

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Happy Independence Day!

A quick message to all our readers from over the water,

Happy Independence Day!

Do something monumental - find your new love now!

http://www.datingforsingleparentsusa.com

C4 Dating Season

I hope you've managed to catch some of the programs being shown in the C4 Dating Season, which is currently showing.

Here's a link to the Channel 4 mating mini site

Some dramas, some documentary, but all really well done and interesting and entertaining, especially if you are looking to date or are dating, (which I presume you are if you are reading this!)

And you can always use catch up on your pc if you've missed them!

Tips For Online Dating

RELATIONSHIP PSYCHOLOGIST - SUSAN QUILLIAM

'Dating online can be a challenge. It's a new way of looking for love, so we're all still learning how to work it' – Susan Quilliam, who takes part in the programme.

1. Be ready to date. If you're not over a previous relationship or anxious and demotivated about going online, you'll self-sabotage. Wait until you're emotionally available, confident in yourself, ready to put in time and energy.

2. Decide what you want first. The site you use, your profile and photo all need to be chosen to suit the partner and partnership you're looking for. So before you ever go online, think carefully through your wants, needs, deal breakers.

3. Ignore the numbers. No site – however huge their database – will bring you results if the site users aren't your kind of people. Plus, the ones with big memberships can overwhelm you with numbers. Instead, trawl sites to find one you personally identify with.

4. Don't sell – invite. Writing your profile shouldn't be a marketing exercise. In fact, research suggests the more you major on "I", the more you'll actively put people off. Instead, welcome in prospective partners by writing warmly about the relationship you'd love to have with them.

5. Choose a welcoming photo not a mug shot. Get a friend or a professional photographer to take hundreds of photos of you smiling and laughing. Then choose the ones where you look the most relaxed and approachable.

6. Don't go shopping. Studies suggest that, when faced with too much choice in partners, we make decisions on irrelevant criteria, such as whether someone wears glasses. Instead, decide who to approach based on whether their profile lets you imagine having a good relationship with them.

7. Get real – and get real early. Don't fall for the spell of email and text - feeling close online says nothing about whether you're compatible in real life. So talk on the phone and meet up as soon as you possibly can.

8. Tell the truth. Most folk on dating sites are genuinely looking for love – if they're not, they go to 'hook-up' or 'married' sites. But many people are also insecure, so tweak age, height or weight to make a good impression. It works best to be truthful – anything else creates a false start to love.

9. Don't expect instant success. In everyday life you may meet hundreds of people at work, socially or by chance before you find someone to date. The same's true online – it can take months of regular searching before you find a match.

10. Ignore bad behaviour. Because online dating's so new, we haven't worked out the courtesies: for example, many people don't respond to approaches made to them. So if you get snubbed, rejected or dumped, ignore it; not your fault.

11. Get support. Find a dating buddy, someone to help you through the tricky stages, support you through disappointment, celebrate your success.

About Susan Quilliam
Susan Quilliam's work in this field spans coaching, writing, broadcasting, training and consulting. Her background is in psychology and counselling.

More tips from Susan Quilliam on her Online Dating Coach website.